Patience

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

This picture was taken during the last few feet of the 2009 Austin marathon. I had hit the wall, I was cramping and it was incredibly painful to take a step forward. My husband saw a lady hanging from the side rails before crossing the finish line. At first, he thought "oh, bless her little heart, she must really be hurting", and then he realized it was me! I was just dehydrated, I was exhausted, probably had not trained hard enough and oh yes...I had witnessed a woman (younger than me) die at mile 22. They reason I am writing about this is because at this moment, we are getting closer to our adoption finish line and at times I feel like I felt at that moment: Beat up!...We have never questioned our decision to adopt a child the same way it has never crossed my mind not to finish a marathon. During those last few miles, it feels as if the finish line is still out of reach, so far away it seems inconceiveable to be able to go to the other side of it. During those last few minutes, you know you are giving it 100 % but you still feel like you are running in water. Remember those dreams where you try to get away and really can't move. Sigh! I know we are getting closer to that little boy, but it sure seems we are not getting to that point soon enough. I don't know what else I can do to get there faster, to not miss out. I have done all I can and not having any more control about our progress makes me crazy! It is just the end of this marathon, our adoption journey. I am sure we will get there sooner or later, crawling if we have to.